Lonesome

Sometimes I sit and wonder why some people are lonelier than others. I always wonder why I'm one of them. Am I a bad person to be around? Or am I unknowingly ostracising myself? Everyone else has either a whole bunch of friends or is the most important person to another. I'd like the latter but I have neither. Maybe I'm really not a nice person to be around afterall. There's so much more to learn.

Just don't get yourself trapped in the cycle of misery again.

I can't be hurt much now, anyway. I'm too afraid of loving anybody too much. Sometimes I wish someone would let me love her/him as a friend with all my heart without giving me the sense I'll lose them again. Over and over again. I wish I could still love anybody as much as I did before, but no, it'll only screw my life over again.